Suffering


Introduction

“...I have told you this so that you will have peace by being united to me. The world will make you suffer. But be brave! I have defeated the world!" 
(Joh 16:33)

Suffering, in this life, is unavoidable. So, I have had my share.
Here I write about searching, finding, clinging to, and being held by Christ, throughout my journey of suffering.

I share about my struggles with:
- ‘Physical Pain’, specifically my battle with epilepsy, chronic undiagnosed pain, and cancer.
- ‘Emotional Pain’, especially depression, undiagnosed personality - and dissociative disorders, and soul wounds.
- And ‘Other Storms’ such as divorce, miscarriage, infertility, financial struggles, and more.

I hope that God will inhabit these writings, and perhaps use them to help you find Him in the dark places and seasons of your own life. My prayer is that He will give you beauty for your ashes, that He will give you the blessing of finding purpose in your pain. 

Post One
24 March 2021 Suffering

Epilepsy entered (Written 20 Mar 2021)

The first time I saw someone having an epileptic seizure, I was five. I had gone with my mom to do our monthly grocery shopping at the Pick & Pay. We were walking from our car to the store’s entrance, when I saw the contorting human body, on...
Post One
29 March 2021 Suffering

Divorce (Written 26 Mar 2021)

When I was in my late twenties, I attended a community church where I got to know modern worship music and then thoroughly fell in love with worshiping God through singing.
A couple of times we sang the song, ‘Blessed be your name’, by Matt R...
Post One
02 April 2021 Suffering

Fear (Written 30 Mar 2021)

Ever since I can remember, Fear cast shadows of various shapes and sizes over my life. Growing up, one very large shadow was the fear I had of snakes. Once I stood paralyzed within the doorway to my room, certain there was a snake hidden under t...
Post One
15 May 2021 Suffering

An ugly duckling: My cancer journey begins

Since I could remember, I had this ‘beauty spot’ above my left knee. But the beauty spot became an ugly duckling (kind of the opposite to what happens in fairy tales). Slowly it expanded, then it darkened, then it turned into an irregular flower...
Post One
13 June 2021 Suffering

Singing through the night

Since the beginning of December, last year, when I heard I wouldn’t be receiving any treatment for my cancer, I have been focused on getting my story written. So, to stay focused, I mostly avoid going down my YouTube rabbit hole. 
Post One
20 June 2021 Suffering

Oppression of the body of Christ

Last week, I experienced testing through intense pain. God brought me through the test by preparing me for it, calling me to worship throughout the test, and also providing much-needed prayer support. After a couple of days of singing His praise...