Worship


Introduction

Beginning in 2013, I experienced a period of extreme emotional turmoil and pain. The pain manifested in my body, too, so that I struggled to live my daily life. The worst was that I could not connect with God. Whenever I tried to pray, I fell asleep, and the Bible seemed dull and dead to me.
January 2015, a friend told me that God wanted me to worship again. God had spoken! So, as impossible as it felt to me, I dragged myself out of bed early mornings and tried to have quiet times with God. At first, my lips felt like they were glued together, and I had to force the worship out. But with God’s help, I persisted. After a couple of days, something precious happened! Spontaneous worship burst from my lips, and I twirled and danced in God’s presence. That was it. At that moment my quiet times had progressed from being a chore, a discipline, to being the best time of my day, and I thought, of my life.
Each of those worship sessions had two parts – one where I poured out my heart to God, and the other where He sang over me. I did not understand that God was using my own mouth to speak healing over me. Soon the dark cloud that had hung over me for years, and that had felt impenetrable, started evaporating. I felt something happen in my soul, saw restoration taking place before my eyes.

In time I had started recording the worship sessions, and from those recordings, I later typed the words up. I did not yet know that God was guiding me to a whole new form of worship.

In 2016, my body started failing me. Debilitating pain in my back, and later my legs, too, brought my spontaneous dancing singing worship to a grinding halt. I was so overcome with sadness about the loss of the experience I have come to hold so dear, that I almost missed the new thing God was doing in my life. Every day, God nudged me to write down the words I would have sung, before. Bit-by-bit, I did. At first, only a few words drizzled onto my journal’s pages. But eventually, God unleashed a downpour of fresh words that flooded pages, then books.

I share a selection of my typed-up spontaneous worship, as well as the written worship of later years, and my present-day outpours, here.

May God help you find among these writings, the very words you need to hear Him sing over you. And may He use these writings to usher you into a new era of your own spontaneous worship, a level of intimacy in your relationship with Jesus, that you haven’t tasted before.

Post One
17 March 2021 Worship

Seeing myself (Written 19 Feb 2021)

I was certain I was born
to be an adventurer, a hero, a warrior.
The day would come that God would use me
to change the world, 
to change people’s hearts,
to point them to their Saviour.

I was born to be spectacular,
Post One
18 March 2021 Worship

Not far (Written 21 Feb 2021)

You are mine, I am yours.
Will I stand back,
arms folded,
while your enemies attack?

I am a jealous lover.
For evil, no hand may touch you.
My plans for you are good,
and what I plan I always do.

Now, sit up and l...
Post One
18 March 2021 Worship

You will see (Written 23 Feb 2021)

You are so busy
with things that will dissolve
that you miss the blessings
I have poured out,
and others that will evolve.

Be still, I say!
Your flesh still races on,
but your heart obeys My voice.
You sit by My feet...
Post One
31 March 2021 Worship

Grateful (7 Apr 2017)

My dull mind, the thought penetrates -
it is God's hand at work
when I wake in a new day,
with no trauma or crime,
no crushing crisis that
overnight has come my way.
 
I am aware I may wake,
with my life turned upsid...
Post One
01 April 2021 Worship

Still, I love you (28 Feb 2021)

Nothing of you
is hidden to Me
I know everything -
your past,
and what’s still to be.

Before Me, you stand naked.
All the splinters of your heart, I know
as they really are, not as they seemed -
Each swearword, each m...
Post One
02 April 2021 Worship

Weary words of praise (21 Feb 2021)

Father God,
thank you.
The sun rose again,
today.
I am alive
and You live in me.
But Father,
I don’t know 
what to pray.

For healing?
For provision?
For a miracle?
For You!

God, I am desperate,...
Post One
19 April 2021 Worship

Is this Your way?

Early morning I open the door.
Four Hadeda’s take flight.
I gasp and stare after them,
my heart beating from the fright.

I sense a difficult day ahead,
so extra prayers I say.
Still, I am attacked!
“Lord, is this Your wa...
Post One
19 April 2021 Worship

Not like you

My ways are not like yours.
The understanding you gain -
a glimpse of what is real.
Your attempts to figure out
the unseen world, in vain.

You simply cannot grasp
of My love, of my power -
the width, the breadth, the hei...
Post One
25 April 2021 Worship

Grateful for a grey day

I open the door
to a grey sky
I’m filled with awe -
You are near!
“The storm clouds are My chariot”,
in my soul, I hear.

Grey skies I used to dread.
But not anymore.
Thank you, Lord, in stormy days,
You have taught...
Post One
25 April 2021 Worship

Evil days

These are dark days you live in.
Bombarded with evil, you are.
So put on all the armor I give
and prepare yourself for the war.

Don’t feel so sorry for yourself -
from such thoughts, nothing to be gained.
Rather think of He...
Post One
03 May 2021 Worship

Strength in weakness

When you know you are weak,
You leave Me room to be strong -
to tame the words you speak
and show you where you’re wrong.

Your heart breaks, your face wet with tears,
as you understand what you have done.
I rush to your sid...
Post One
03 May 2021 Worship

A good-bad day

In my inbox, two emails -
a problem I can’t solve, but must.
Instantly I’m off the rails,
yet You whisper, “Trust!”

My lips, an angel guards.
Your Spirit guides my mind
through flaming enemy darts
to a solution, I couldn...
Post One
09 May 2021 Worship

The shaking

 The tremors start.
Vibrations ripple out.
More and more, frequently
and growing in intensity.
 
They cause a shaking 
of everything.
Now, what used to be hidden
from dark places will be driven.
 
Post One
15 May 2021 Worship

More and more

You open my eyes,
more and more.
I see Your hand in my life,
more and more.
I recognize your guidance,
more and more.

You are here with me -
tangibly present in my life,
active all the time, 
You are working o...
Post One
13 June 2021 Worship

Be vigilant

Father, I was terrorized in my sleep
with dreams of robbers, and wars
that filled me with dread.
But the first rays of morning light,
washed away the memories
of my fear and of the fight.

The birds' song is chirpy, so joyfu...
Post One
13 June 2021 Worship

Passion fire

Passion is the perfume
of the fire that burns,
deep within your soul.
This fire is ignited
when you walk
through the flames.

When you pass through the flames,
everything that is not of Me,
is burnt up.
In the furna...